Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
