uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
