Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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