i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
time to smoke my breakfast
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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