Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
