i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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