Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
