dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
