hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
