I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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