Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
