Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is Oprah even human
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