Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
