Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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