I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
