Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
