If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
