I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
