are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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