Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
