I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
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