dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
