in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
