I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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