You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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