Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
me + whiskey = a bad person
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
