Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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