We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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