did you get engaged???
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
