he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I faked an abortion last night.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
