Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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