I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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