So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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