Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
