Pregnant stripper...not hot.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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