this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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