fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
