just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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