Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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