dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
