Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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