ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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