Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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