i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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