I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
