Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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