idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
