You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
