i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
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I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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