you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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