I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think my moral compass just broke
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
