I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
