Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
