White coat. Heels.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
