Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
