I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
