you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
