just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
