This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
