I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I smell like Dick and happiness
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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