dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
