I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
