Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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