Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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