Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
