it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize