blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
