after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
