Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
